I love call display. We have just recently added this feature to our phone bill and I have thoroughly enjoyed screening all of those pesky sales calls that used to trap me prior to this glorious feature.
Well, imagine my surprise today when across the screen of the cordless phone were the words 'Government of Canada'. For a moment I thought it might be Steven Harper calling me himself, and I guess technically it was. Either way, I wasn't prepared to pick up the phone and let the call go straight to voice mail. If Mr. Harper really wanted to talk to me, he could leave a message like the rest of the world. Moments later, the words 'Voicemail' appeared on the display. I guess Mr. Harper had something he actually wanted to say to me. My good friend was over visiting and we conspired as to the nature of the call. Maybe it's a courtesy call thanking me for starting a new small business in Ontario. According to my friend, that was highly unlikely. The government's not really all that concerned about customer service, unless there is an election. Maybe that's it. Perhaps Mr. Harper is calling me to find out what I think of his fake lake, new tax structure and views on women's health.
As I punched in the password to collect my messages I held my breath. "Hello Jennifer, this is Nadia calling from Employment Insurance, can you please call me back at our toll free number?Thank you."
Gulp. Whatever they wanted, I was sure it wasn't going to be good news.
I was right.
Several weeks ago I met with my employer to tell them that I would not be returning to my position following the end of my maternity leave. They took it well, were dissapointed, but understood and supported my decision.
A few weeks after the meeting I checked my bank account only to find a large sum of money had been deposited. Hooray! Aren't I lucky? A mini windfall to boost the family's savings up as we head into our new business venture. I quickly moved the money to a savings account and did a money dance.
All is good.
And then came the phone call.
My employer being so totally on the ball had paid out my vacation pay, nice. Except that it screwed up my final EI payments. Not nice. You see, you can't earn extra money while you are receiving EI. If you do, then they deduct the amount from your assistance.
Crap.
So lovely Nadia gave me two options. I can a) continue receiving the final EI payments and then pay the government back or b) end payments immediately as the balance I would owe equals the amount I would receive for the final payment. How convenient.
I thought about the option for a split second and decided to part ways immediately with the government.
I know a few things in life, one of them is not to owe the government money. The other is not to mess with a Sicialian when death is on the line.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Friday Funny
I am not sure if this is funny or just sad.
Our Air Conditioner is broken. In the middle of a heat wave. The motor has blown; perhaps from overuse.
Excuse me while I rock in the corner and eat my sweat drenched hair.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Summer Daze
I used to love the summer, when my days were care free and my time was spent playing outside with my friends, seeking shelter in the shade and spending hours on end waterlogged in a pool or a lake. You would think that these activities I am reminiscing about took place in my youth; and of course they did. But today I am remembering the care free summers of my life with no kids. Oh those blissful days when I answered to no one, and had all the time in the world.
Weekends and weekdays were spent at cottages, swimming, boating, playing cards, having fires, laughing and making memories over beverages. In fact one weekend in particular I remember playing Monopoly for a solid 8 hours, and really, if I hadn't spilled my drink across the table we would still be at Long Lake taking over the world one street at a time.
Yes, I remember those summers.
Fast forward a few years and now my summers are so very, very different. Especially this one. The biggest change (other than the 2 kids!) is that I am officially a mom that works from home. What an ironic term. It actually implies that I get work done! The reality is that this is a HUGE challenge. As I try to get a new business off the ground I am still responsible for running a household,and I have already told you that I am no June Cleaver, but I do my best and try to keep up appearances. Basically I make sure that the really dangerous choking hazards are off the floor, feed family members, and entertain or provide entertaining activities for Big and Little. It's the entertainment part that is killing me. I often sit back and wonder how the rest of you manage to do it (if you have suggestions/tips please send them my way!). Of course, I knew that it would be a juggling act, and I do surprise myself when I get stuff done, but what I wasn't prepared for though was the whinning. And I have to tell you I HATE whinning. It is the most annoying sound in the whole world. In fact, I really wish there was a cure for whinning. At one point I thought the cure was Carona's, but the side effects (aka hangovers) were no longer acceptable.
At 4 years old, all day long all I hear is "I'm Bored" and "I wanna watch a mooovie" or "I wanna play Lego Star Wars Video Game". I thought I had a few years before these words would be on repeat. I know, I know- so naiive. The crazy thing, is that I am tempted. Tempted to just plop the monkey in front of the boob tube for the day so I can have uninterrupted work time. Of course I don't let him sit there for the day; but sometimes you have to use the 'babysitter' to knock off some items from the 'to do list' or nothing would ever be accomplished.
So, in my vain attempt to manage my house, get work done, have fun, connect and bond with my kids and enjoy the summer I made a schedule.
Summer Rules for Big & Little:
Weekends and weekdays were spent at cottages, swimming, boating, playing cards, having fires, laughing and making memories over beverages. In fact one weekend in particular I remember playing Monopoly for a solid 8 hours, and really, if I hadn't spilled my drink across the table we would still be at Long Lake taking over the world one street at a time.
Yes, I remember those summers.
Fast forward a few years and now my summers are so very, very different. Especially this one. The biggest change (other than the 2 kids!) is that I am officially a mom that works from home. What an ironic term. It actually implies that I get work done! The reality is that this is a HUGE challenge. As I try to get a new business off the ground I am still responsible for running a household,and I have already told you that I am no June Cleaver, but I do my best and try to keep up appearances. Basically I make sure that the really dangerous choking hazards are off the floor, feed family members, and entertain or provide entertaining activities for Big and Little. It's the entertainment part that is killing me. I often sit back and wonder how the rest of you manage to do it (if you have suggestions/tips please send them my way!). Of course, I knew that it would be a juggling act, and I do surprise myself when I get stuff done, but what I wasn't prepared for though was the whinning. And I have to tell you I HATE whinning. It is the most annoying sound in the whole world. In fact, I really wish there was a cure for whinning. At one point I thought the cure was Carona's, but the side effects (aka hangovers) were no longer acceptable.
At 4 years old, all day long all I hear is "I'm Bored" and "I wanna watch a mooovie" or "I wanna play Lego Star Wars Video Game". I thought I had a few years before these words would be on repeat. I know, I know- so naiive. The crazy thing, is that I am tempted. Tempted to just plop the monkey in front of the boob tube for the day so I can have uninterrupted work time. Of course I don't let him sit there for the day; but sometimes you have to use the 'babysitter' to knock off some items from the 'to do list' or nothing would ever be accomplished.
So, in my vain attempt to manage my house, get work done, have fun, connect and bond with my kids and enjoy the summer I made a schedule.
Summer Schedule*:
7:30-9:00 Breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, FREE ACTIVITY
9-10:00 Little goes for a nap, T.V. for BIG (Mommy showers)
10:00-10:15 Morning Snack
10:15-12:00- Let's have fun (Park, outside play, play dates, crafts, reading, activity books)
12:00-1:00 Lunch
1:00-3:00 Quiet Activities, Little Naps, Mommy works
3:00-4:00 T.V. is okay with a snack
4:00-Daddy's home T.V. off; get ready for supper.
Summer Rules for Big & Little:
- T.V will be used in moderation. If mommy says you can't watch, you need to respect her choice and find something else to do; or, you can go in your room ( you can imagine what BIG has been choosing lately. Yup. His room!)
- Listen and respect each other (gawd this is soooo hard for both of us to do!)
- Everyone helps out with chores
- No Whinning (litterally, that is a rule I wrote, I know. Naiive)
- Try new things/activities
- Have Fun
- Wear Hats & Sunscreen
- Have Fun
Big of course hates my schedule. He thinks its dumb. He says I am not fun. We are no longer friends. Oh, and my rules are dumb too.
What do you think?
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Did someone say spa?
I decided to take a little time for me.
A time to unwind, recharge, refuel, pamper, polish and exfoliate.
I made this decision after learning that Big Daddy was going to be gone all day on Sunday in a golf tournament, leaving me to spend another full, jam packed day on my own vs the tag team approach that weekends normally allow for.
Before Little joined the family I was a 'regular' at my local spa, visiting every 6-12 weeks for facials, or massages, pedicures, hot stone massage, body wraps and the like. I love the spa experience: donning the robes, drinking the 'specialty teas' and pouring water filled with fruit, cucumbers, lemons or other treats into goblets while someone takes the time to look after me and tend to my needs. Over a period of time I began to view the treatments as necessary, in order to maintian my youthful appearance, rather then viewing them as a treat. Sadly, during my pregnancy with Little and the post partum period there has been a tremendous time lapse since my last visit. 1 year to be exact. So when I made the phone call to book my appointment I did so without an ounce of mommy guilt.
It felt so good to make the call. In fact, once the call was placed and the treatments and times were booked a long time staff member greeted me over the phone. "Jennifer, it's Heather! It's been a while. I look forward to seeing you."
'Hi Heather, yes it has been a while. Too long in fact. I am looking forward to coming in. See you Saturday!".
When I hung up the phone, I felt a little bit like Norm from 'Cheers' as he took his regular seat at the bar. Moments after the appointment was booked a quick text to Big Daddy told him that I was escaping the mad house for a few hours and he was in charge.
When I woke up that morning I worked diligently to ensure all of the morning chores were done. The kids were fed breakfast, diapers were changed, the kitchen was tidied (knowing that if I left it for Big Daddy, I would only be faced with more dishes. He is many things, but a multi-tasker when children are outnumbering him, he is not), and I showered and began to mentally prepare for my treatments. Today's menu was a massage + pedicure. Delicious!
Moments before heading out the door I confer with Big Daddy to rattle off the last minute instructions for Little. The conversation included me explaining the appropriate time for his morning nap (knowing it would be delayed because Mommy and her Magic Boobies were otherwise engaged); providing suggestions for a mid morning snack, and what to serve for lunch. It was simple. So I thought. I explained that Cheerios & pear were a great idea for a morning snack and that the Couscous & Sweet pepper dish I made the day before were in a freezer tray, not yet having a chance to bag it. Before I turned to leave I asked Big Daddy if he had any questions and if he knew where to find everything. He said he was good, and that he had it all under control so I turned and got the hell out of Dodge.
I ran out the door and sjumped into the car, and noticed how brightly the sun was shinning. I put down the windows, cranked the tunes and I am pretty sure the tires left skid marks on the road as I peeled off down the street.
I arrived at my destination with time to spare and enjoyed reading trashy magazines before I was seated for my treatments. Two and a half blissful hours later, I emerge a new woman. I walk back to the car and begin to wonder what fun we can have in the afternoon.
As I walk into the house Big greets me and tells me to be quiet as Little is napping. Excellent! Daddy did have it under control! As I walk deeper into the house though, the real story begins to reveal itself.
There are new dishes strewn across the table, food has litterally been thrown onto the floor and the walls, the toy box has exploded, Big is still in his pj's (it is at this point, almost 1:30 pm) no one has had lunch and Little fell asleep only minutes before I walked in the door.
I peruse the mess, and I notice that of course Big Daddy has chosen not the couscous, but straight chicken to serve to Little and never thought to mix it with something, which explains why the food is on the floor and the walls. Poor Little has actually gone to bed hungry, is going to be overtired from lack of sleep (which you all know means a wakeful night ahead for mommy) and from what I gather, ended up crying himself to sleep because all other sleep strategies failed.
Frustrated to hell by the disaster that is my kitchen, I begin to tidy up for the gazilionth time. The lovely, blissful feeling that had only moments ago filled my aura, was starting to melt away. Now home, looking at the beautiful mess that is my life, I begin to feel the telling aches from a deep massage, and I notice that although I had a beautiful parafin wax applied to my heels- the damage of a year of neglect can't be undone in 1 treatment. So I reach for a glass of water, as well as a glass of wine, sit back on the couch, tip my head back and sigh. A mom's work is never done.
A time to unwind, recharge, refuel, pamper, polish and exfoliate.
I made this decision after learning that Big Daddy was going to be gone all day on Sunday in a golf tournament, leaving me to spend another full, jam packed day on my own vs the tag team approach that weekends normally allow for.
Before Little joined the family I was a 'regular' at my local spa, visiting every 6-12 weeks for facials, or massages, pedicures, hot stone massage, body wraps and the like. I love the spa experience: donning the robes, drinking the 'specialty teas' and pouring water filled with fruit, cucumbers, lemons or other treats into goblets while someone takes the time to look after me and tend to my needs. Over a period of time I began to view the treatments as necessary, in order to maintian my youthful appearance, rather then viewing them as a treat. Sadly, during my pregnancy with Little and the post partum period there has been a tremendous time lapse since my last visit. 1 year to be exact. So when I made the phone call to book my appointment I did so without an ounce of mommy guilt.
It felt so good to make the call. In fact, once the call was placed and the treatments and times were booked a long time staff member greeted me over the phone. "Jennifer, it's Heather! It's been a while. I look forward to seeing you."
'Hi Heather, yes it has been a while. Too long in fact. I am looking forward to coming in. See you Saturday!".
When I hung up the phone, I felt a little bit like Norm from 'Cheers' as he took his regular seat at the bar. Moments after the appointment was booked a quick text to Big Daddy told him that I was escaping the mad house for a few hours and he was in charge.
When I woke up that morning I worked diligently to ensure all of the morning chores were done. The kids were fed breakfast, diapers were changed, the kitchen was tidied (knowing that if I left it for Big Daddy, I would only be faced with more dishes. He is many things, but a multi-tasker when children are outnumbering him, he is not), and I showered and began to mentally prepare for my treatments. Today's menu was a massage + pedicure. Delicious!
Moments before heading out the door I confer with Big Daddy to rattle off the last minute instructions for Little. The conversation included me explaining the appropriate time for his morning nap (knowing it would be delayed because Mommy and her Magic Boobies were otherwise engaged); providing suggestions for a mid morning snack, and what to serve for lunch. It was simple. So I thought. I explained that Cheerios & pear were a great idea for a morning snack and that the Couscous & Sweet pepper dish I made the day before were in a freezer tray, not yet having a chance to bag it. Before I turned to leave I asked Big Daddy if he had any questions and if he knew where to find everything. He said he was good, and that he had it all under control so I turned and got the hell out of Dodge.
I ran out the door and sjumped into the car, and noticed how brightly the sun was shinning. I put down the windows, cranked the tunes and I am pretty sure the tires left skid marks on the road as I peeled off down the street.
I arrived at my destination with time to spare and enjoyed reading trashy magazines before I was seated for my treatments. Two and a half blissful hours later, I emerge a new woman. I walk back to the car and begin to wonder what fun we can have in the afternoon.
As I walk into the house Big greets me and tells me to be quiet as Little is napping. Excellent! Daddy did have it under control! As I walk deeper into the house though, the real story begins to reveal itself.
There are new dishes strewn across the table, food has litterally been thrown onto the floor and the walls, the toy box has exploded, Big is still in his pj's (it is at this point, almost 1:30 pm) no one has had lunch and Little fell asleep only minutes before I walked in the door.
I peruse the mess, and I notice that of course Big Daddy has chosen not the couscous, but straight chicken to serve to Little and never thought to mix it with something, which explains why the food is on the floor and the walls. Poor Little has actually gone to bed hungry, is going to be overtired from lack of sleep (which you all know means a wakeful night ahead for mommy) and from what I gather, ended up crying himself to sleep because all other sleep strategies failed.
Frustrated to hell by the disaster that is my kitchen, I begin to tidy up for the gazilionth time. The lovely, blissful feeling that had only moments ago filled my aura, was starting to melt away. Now home, looking at the beautiful mess that is my life, I begin to feel the telling aches from a deep massage, and I notice that although I had a beautiful parafin wax applied to my heels- the damage of a year of neglect can't be undone in 1 treatment. So I reach for a glass of water, as well as a glass of wine, sit back on the couch, tip my head back and sigh. A mom's work is never done.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Monday Morning.....
Well folks, I just thought I would let you know that Monday got off to a much better start than the past Friday.
Many thanks for the 'keep your chin up' pep talks and the empathy you share, as I know, you too, have lost your keys before and found them in the most ridiculous spot.
Today I am pleased to report that I had no trouble finding my keys. However, Big did check in with me to make sure I knew where they were before we left for school.
Sweet. That kid always has my back and I love him.
Many thanks for the 'keep your chin up' pep talks and the empathy you share, as I know, you too, have lost your keys before and found them in the most ridiculous spot.
Today I am pleased to report that I had no trouble finding my keys. However, Big did check in with me to make sure I knew where they were before we left for school.
Sweet. That kid always has my back and I love him.
Friday, June 11, 2010
I'm Flaky; But it's Friday, and it's Funny
Okay, well now that I have calmed down and my blood pressure has returned to normal, I can look back at the crazy morning I had today and laugh. However at the time; it really wasn't funny.
The morning actually started off okay, but it did not take long for it to derail. It looked like everything was going to go my way- Little was up at 7am this morning, and Big got up in a good mood. Eeveryone got their breakfast, got dressed and we were all ready to head out the door on time. My plan was to drop Big off at school, swing home to nurse Little then send him off to Lala land, all before my mom would show up and look after the baby so that I could attend day 2 of the course I am taking.
Since I am not much of a morning person I took the time the night before to pack the lunches and organize what I needed for the day. I did all of the preplanning to make sure I was on time.
All I needed to do before we headed out the door was grab my keys.
Where are my keys?
They are not where they are supposed to be! Hmmm. I quickly search the other 'spots' that my keys sometimes find themselves in. Unfortunately, they are nowhere to be found and I am starting to panick. The perfect plan I had laid out before me was uncoiling rather quickly.
Time is ticking faster now. I am running around the house like the mad hatter, tearing up and down the stairs in vain, searching desperately for my keys. I call Big Daddy on the phone. He doesn't pick up. I call him again so that he knows I am serious. I start to yell at the phone, "Why won't Big Daddy pick up? Where are my keys?" Big starts to cry. "Mommy can we walk to school?" " No sweetie, it's a 15 min walk and I have a course to get to, I am already going to be late".
Minutes later I receive a text "I am in a meeting until 9am". I respond with where the F**ck are my keys?????? He says "I never touched them". I look for the extra set, and I remember that Big Daddy has them on his key chain- GREAT!
I continue to run around the house like a nut. Big continues to cry. Then, CRASH. What's that? Oh, Little finally figures out how to open the front panel to the gas fireplace, sweet. So now off I tear to recover the baby from fatal disaster (the pilot light was off though!) and stick him in the chair as he cries his head off that the big noise startled him. I yell for Big to go and comfort Little as I try to retrace my steps.
Big is trying to be helpful- "The last time you lost your keys Mommy, they were in the laundry room" (Don't judge me). I consider this may again be a possibility, but no.
They are not in the laundry room. They are not in the cupboard, or my purse, or the diaper bag, or the counters, or bathroom, or dining room, computer desk, or jacket. I am still panicking but I am trying to calm myself down so that Big doesn't develop any further anxiety and I say to him, "Don't worry Mum-Mum will be here in a few minutes and I will take you to school in her car". Then he starts to cry for his Mum-Mum. Whatever. Just help me find my freaking keys!
I start to sweat, I want to cry with the kids when I finally step outside and look in the door. Right? WRONG. They are not in the door. I walk out further, perhaps they are on the side table. NO. Wrong Again. I look out to the car, and I see them. Right where I left them the day before. On the roof of my car.
The morning actually started off okay, but it did not take long for it to derail. It looked like everything was going to go my way- Little was up at 7am this morning, and Big got up in a good mood. Eeveryone got their breakfast, got dressed and we were all ready to head out the door on time. My plan was to drop Big off at school, swing home to nurse Little then send him off to Lala land, all before my mom would show up and look after the baby so that I could attend day 2 of the course I am taking.
Since I am not much of a morning person I took the time the night before to pack the lunches and organize what I needed for the day. I did all of the preplanning to make sure I was on time.
All I needed to do before we headed out the door was grab my keys.
Where are my keys?
They are not where they are supposed to be! Hmmm. I quickly search the other 'spots' that my keys sometimes find themselves in. Unfortunately, they are nowhere to be found and I am starting to panick. The perfect plan I had laid out before me was uncoiling rather quickly.
Time is ticking faster now. I am running around the house like the mad hatter, tearing up and down the stairs in vain, searching desperately for my keys. I call Big Daddy on the phone. He doesn't pick up. I call him again so that he knows I am serious. I start to yell at the phone, "Why won't Big Daddy pick up? Where are my keys?" Big starts to cry. "Mommy can we walk to school?" " No sweetie, it's a 15 min walk and I have a course to get to, I am already going to be late".
Minutes later I receive a text "I am in a meeting until 9am". I respond with where the F**ck are my keys?????? He says "I never touched them". I look for the extra set, and I remember that Big Daddy has them on his key chain- GREAT!
I continue to run around the house like a nut. Big continues to cry. Then, CRASH. What's that? Oh, Little finally figures out how to open the front panel to the gas fireplace, sweet. So now off I tear to recover the baby from fatal disaster (the pilot light was off though!) and stick him in the chair as he cries his head off that the big noise startled him. I yell for Big to go and comfort Little as I try to retrace my steps.
Big is trying to be helpful- "The last time you lost your keys Mommy, they were in the laundry room" (Don't judge me). I consider this may again be a possibility, but no.
They are not in the laundry room. They are not in the cupboard, or my purse, or the diaper bag, or the counters, or bathroom, or dining room, computer desk, or jacket. I am still panicking but I am trying to calm myself down so that Big doesn't develop any further anxiety and I say to him, "Don't worry Mum-Mum will be here in a few minutes and I will take you to school in her car". Then he starts to cry for his Mum-Mum. Whatever. Just help me find my freaking keys!
I start to sweat, I want to cry with the kids when I finally step outside and look in the door. Right? WRONG. They are not in the door. I walk out further, perhaps they are on the side table. NO. Wrong Again. I look out to the car, and I see them. Right where I left them the day before. On the roof of my car.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Wordless Wednesday
Well, okay; only a few words.
We are taking Big to see a show that is going to blow his freaking mind. I repeat: He is going to blow his freaking mind. I think his head will actually pop off his shoulders once the show starts. He has no idea that his life is going to be more Awesome after July 24th.
I think Big Daddy and I are definitely going to win the 'Most Awesome Parent Award' 2010.
We are taking Big to see a show that is going to blow his freaking mind. I repeat: He is going to blow his freaking mind. I think his head will actually pop off his shoulders once the show starts. He has no idea that his life is going to be more Awesome after July 24th.
I think Big Daddy and I are definitely going to win the 'Most Awesome Parent Award' 2010.
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