My Friday Funny

I like the idea of participating in a communal laugh.



The Mayor over at Crazy Town (http://crazytownmayor.com/) has invited the online world to meet at her spot and share a joke, funny story, or 1 liner that gave you the giggles. Since I feel I am funnier in person than in cyberspace, I thought I would share this joke instead (at least for my first attempt).



This joke was passed onto me by my mother, who in her own right is a very funny woman. You may have seen it before, but it always makes me laugh.....



Baby's First Doctor Visit



A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.



The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.



'Breast-fed,' she replied.



'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.



She did.

He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.



Motioning for her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'



I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came'.

Better luck next time

I would never describe myself as a 'domestic diva'.

Unlike our friend June, I have a very hard time keeping my house clean.

There are always dishes in my sink, or laundry that is waiting to be folded and put away. Toys are always strewn across the floor, even though I swore I just tidied up that very spot only moments ago. The central vac is pulled out daily as I drag it all around the kitchen floor in my vain attempt to suck up all of the crumbs the family has left behind from the previous meal (really, do we get anything in our mouths?!?). I wash the floors when our feet start to stick, and the bathrooms get cleaned once a week whether they need it or not. I try to cook a decent meal most nights and over the years, my cooking skills have improved.

As I attempt to cross off all my chores from the 'to do list' I try to spend spend quality time with 'Big' playing a variety of make believe games that include, but are not limited to:

• Star Wars
• Spiderman
• BatMan
• lego
• reading

And in between my adventures with the Caped Crusader and Robin or Han Solo and Luke, I try to engage, nuture and interact with my 8 month old baby.

Every once in a while though, I hit my stride. I get it all done. I clean the house, I play with the kids, I participate in my community and get a kick ass meal on the table. On the occasions that I manage to pull it all together I give myself a pat on the back, open up a bottle of red wine and settle into the couch and indulge in a little me time.

Unfortunately, today was not one of those days! Maybe I will have better luck tomorrow.

Excuse me while I dust off my soapbox....

Warning: This post may contain a passionate outburst or two. Please forgive me.

The other day I was forwarded a link (http://www.youtube.com/user/faceofbirth#p/u/0/pFWH_IZWulE) to an upcoming documentary. As I write this, women in Australia are fighting to maintain their personal rights to choose the place where they would like to give birth. For the past year there has been a political movement to make home birth illegal, thereby limiting the choices of childbearing women and their families. Check out the link here to learn more http://www.homebirthaustralia.org/

My experience with my first pregnancy and labour were under the care of an OB. Had I known that Midwives were covered by OHIP I would have jumped onto that train right off the bat (but I was the 1st of my friends to have a baby, and my family Doctor never suggested Midwives as an option- so I picked the OB who liked cookies. Seriously, that is how I made the most important choice of my childbirth experience!) Luckily for me, I took Lamaze classes and knew what to expect- I had a supportive husband/man-doula who believed in me and my ability to give birth, a mom & dad who cheered me on saying 'of course you can do this', and I experienced a healthy and low risk pregnancy. We laboured at home for most of the time, finally waddled into the hospital and delivered our beautiful son 'Big' 4 hours after checking in. Sure, there were some surprise 'hiccups' along the way and things we did not plan for (meconium & retained placenta), but that's labour for you. I received excellent care while in the hospital and had a birth that changed my life forever.

Following the birth of 'Big' I decided to add the credentials of a Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator to my name (check out our website at http://www.discoverbirth.com/) . My background in adult education & faciliation, along with my passion for all things birth, fueled me forward.

Fastforward 4 years and we find ourselves pregnant again. This time I chose to have my baby under the care of skilled Midwives at a local hospital where the Midwife team I chose had excellent rapport with the OB's on staff.

What a great experience it was- the information sharing back and forth, on going discussions about what choices I had available to me, the reassuring phone calls in the first trimester when everything seemed so vulnerable, and the calm, confidence they had in me, my body and birth itself. Honk if you love Midwives! (toot, toot,)

On August 21, 1 day overdue, labour began and the phone calls were made. First to my mom, then to my hubby- and when it was time we paged my midwifery team. I did my thing, everyone cheered me on, told me how great I was and that I was doing all the right things. My mom and husband rubbed my back and legs when I asked them to and I walked around my house holding onto counters and columns as contractions washed over me. Just over 1 hour after the arrival of my midwife we learn that I have dialated from 2-8cm. Holy Crap. The conversation that took place next goes something like this:

My midwife calmly turns to me and says : "Jennifer, you are moving very quickly. You are 8 cm dialated and the membranes are bulging (This kind of spooked me because I know when my water breaks I have to push immediately!). If you are going to have this baby at the hospital you need to leave now. Or you may choose to stay at home. I will call my back up midwife, I will get all of the equipment I need from my car, and you can stay home."

Me "Can I go to the bathroom before I get into the car?"

Midwife "No." (Educator Note: emptying your bladder frequently in labour gives the baby more space to drop and allows labour to move along efficiently- so it's good to empty the bladder often, but not when you have to drive 25 minutes to the hospital and you are going through transition). She then turns to my husband and says "Mark, if we drive to the hospital I will be right behind you. We will drive very quickly. However, if something happens and Jennifer gives birth in the car, will you catch the baby?" The response from my man-doula husband was like taking marriage vows all over again when he said "Yes, I will!". I however, freaked out at that moment and thought to myself- 'Holy crap, I can't give birth to my baby in a car with my husband. I want to stay at home where I feel safe'. So that was the decision I made. The choice that was right for me.

My mom, Mark and my midwife then move speedily to prepare the room for the birth of our 2nd baby. I continued to labour while my enthusiasm and excitement about a home birth peak. I never in a million years thought about giving birth at home. The plan was always to go to the hospital, yet here I was in my bedroom, with the skilled and capable careprovider that I chose, surrounded by those that loved me and cared for me. Soon enough our 'Little' bundled made his appearance into this world. Born at home, surrounded by those that loved him and cared for him.

Some may call 'Little's' birth dramatic, because we diverted from the original plan of a hospital birth. I call it beautiful, special and the right choice for me.

What I did was neither brave, nor crazy. It wasn't about making a statement or trying to prove anything to anyone. What I did was make a choice. I considered all of my options, weighed the pro's and con's and made a fully informed decision. For me and my family a home birth was the best option.

If home births were to become outlawed in Australia then women's voices, choices and powers would be stripped away from them. By taking this option out of their hands the hospital, government & insurance companies are basically saying that women aren't smart enough to make informed decisions regarding the kind of care they would like to receive. Sure, it's not for everyone, but limiting a women's options in regards to a place for her birth doesn't solve any of the real problems that women are facing in Obstectrics these days (inductions that are not medically necessary, inreased number of cesarean sections, and a philosophy of birth in many institutions that labour and childbirth are medical conditions and not a normal, physiological response). In fact having stuff like this taking place in media distracts the public from these very real problems. The reality is a home birth is a safe option for many women.

This is what we know:

• 80% of women benefit from the care of skilled midwives
• 20% of all births can be classified as higher-risk and should be managed by an Obstetrician
• Birth can safely take place in homes, hospitals and birthing centres
• There is not 1 current, evidence based study that proves that hospitals are safer than delivering a baby at home-

check out the following link for more information outlining best evidence for choosing a place of birth: http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10142

As an advocate for the rights of childbearing women, an LCCE, a mother, a daughter, a friend and a woman who experienced a wonderful home birth, this issue really makes my blood boil. For now, living in Canada, pregnant women and their families have many options to consider and I'd really like to keep it that way.

I wish all of my fellow Auzzie mamma's and midwives the best of luck as they navigate this truly crazy battle. I will keep a close eye on the developments and will continue in my personal journey to support the pregnant women and families I have the privilage to meet and support them in their own personal choices, whatever they may be.

So, 'Little' has a cold. Really, not the end of the world, as we have been here many times before and I anticipate regular and frequent visits into snot town . The cold itself was not the problem , it was the lack of sleep he was getting due to major nasal congestion. And all mom's know that when baby is overtired, baby does not sleep! So, after a full night and day of sleep deprivation, on both our parts, I was gearing up for yet another wakeful night.



As we sat in our lovely rocker and he drifted in and out of sleep I found myself staring at his beautiful face, and as I sat there, I realized that he and I don't do this very often. With my eldest son, I would sit and rock him forever enjoying the weight of him in my arms, watching his face as he slept, and listening to the beautiful sound of his breathing. As enjoyable as that was, it also created some challenges with co-dependent sleep habits, ones I did not want to repeat again. So 'Little' does not get rocked to sleep, he always goes down on his own. So I took my time with him the other night. Enjoyed the weight of his body in my arms, watching his face as he slept and listened to the beautiful sound of his breathing (which unfortunately at the time sounded like a Mac truck going through a tunnel; but I enjoyed it none the less).

As I held him, it suddenly hit me that he is growing up too quickly. His 1st birthday is closing in on us, and the opportunities to hold and snuggle him for hours on end are slipping through my fingers. So, as annoying as it can be to deal with a baby who has a cold, today I find myself thankful for the time we got to snuggle. Sleep is over rated anyway....

Wishing you and your babes a happy, snuggly day!

Are we there yet?

Welcome to my blog.


Like you, I find myself looking for a space to call my own. Somewhere to share my thoughts, experiences and observations of the world around me. What better place to do that then here? I used to write a few years ago, and found the exercise theraputic; I hope that will continue to be the experience.

I am sure I will also use these pages to rant and rave over the frustrations of daily life. Please forgive me if all too often these posts bear the frustrations, joys and challenges that come with being the mother of 2 boys ('Big' is 41/2 and 'Little' is 8 months old). However, if you are a mom or dad reading this, then you already get it!


I decided to name my blog 'Are we there yet?' . 'Big' has started to ask that very question every time we get in the car, and as frustrating as it can be to hear it constantly shouted from the backseat, it really is a great question. We are all trying to reach a destination. Sometimes it's as simple and direct as a drive to grandma's house. Other times (and more often for me) it's the question I ask everytime I embark on a new venture and I see my goal or destination and I just want to get there. As I continue to my personal journey on the road of life and find myself smack dab in the middle of parenthood-I think the title is fitting!

So strap on your helmets, buckle up and enjoy the ride!